


A Brother's Wish

by robinasnyder



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Psychological Trauma, Time to rebuild, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-24
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:07:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robinasnyder/pseuds/robinasnyder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer decides that it’s not in his best interest to kill Gabriel. Lucifer’s been in the cage for a very long for a very long time, after all. That doesn’t mean that Gabriel’s ready for Lucifer’s paradise though. Not yet. Lucifer removes most of Gabriel’s grace and sets him off into the world on his own as a punishment for escaping God’s wrath. Finally free of Lucifer’s tortures, Gabriel turns to the Winchesters to try and put himself back together. </p>
<p>Based from <i>A Brother's Mercy</i> by remanth</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Want to tell me what you're laughing at?"

"Just you. I don't know what you thought would happen. Did you think you'd go out in a blaze of glory? That you'd just escape like that?"

"You know it's not supposed to be this way. It didn't have to be. You chose this, Luci."

Gabriel let out a scream, deep and guttural.

"And you chose this."

Gabriel's pained gasp filled the room.

"And thank you for bringing me this lovely, lovely gift, my brother. A perfect little tool."

"You can stop."

"I could."

Gabriel let out another scream, a deep, ripping sound right up from the belly wound.

"But then this is so much fun."

"Barrel of laughs."

"Hm. Funny. Keep that sense of humor. You're going to need it."

"The apocalypse, Luci, focus."

"I am focused."

"You don't have to end it."

"My, you are focused. That focus-" Gabrial's breathless scream followed as the blade pressed slowly into his flesh. "is goo. It makes the pain bearable, trust me." Gabriel hissed. "Shh, shh."

"So, now what?"

"Now? Now I give you your punishment."

"For standing up to you? Just kill me and get it done."

"No, no, no my brother. You may not have fought me, but you did abandon me. You ran away. You're a bad son too, aren't you? Like me? But you escaped father's punishment. Now we can't have that."

"Feeling jealous?"

"Good, I told you to keep that humor. It'll help."

Gabriel started to scream and he didn't stop. Six golden wings burst into visibility. Lucifer continued to press the knife into Gabriel's stomach. He reached down and picked up the chains with the Enochian bonding symbols etched into them. Gabriel was already wrapped in them. He dropped the knife and while Gabriel panted in an attempt to bring himself back together, Lucifer bound up Gabriel's wings.

"And now, your punishment."

"W-what?"

"Your grace, brother. I'm going to take it."

"Kill me."

"Oh no. And no, you won't be human, not like your dear Anna. No, no, you'll live. But not much else."

Lucifer turned away, walking back to the table with his little instruments of torture that the demons had supplied. Lucifer had only used Gabriel's own blade up until that point. He picked up a leather ball gag from amongst the instruments.

"Open up, Gabriel."

Gabriel kept his lips tightly shut.

"Come on, open it. Pretend it's one of those sweets you like so much."

Gabriel glared and pulled his lips in under his teeth, clamping down harder.

"Don't make me make you. I don't want to hurt you more than I have to."

Gabriel glared harder.

"I'm sorry. I did try to warn you."

Gabriel screamed when Lucifer stuck the blade into his thigh. Lucifer left it there when he pushed the ball gag into Gabriel's mouth and buckled it securely. He pulled the knife out and Gabriel started to wheeze like he couldn't get the air he needed, though angels didn't need air.

"I'm so sorry. I told you I didn't want to hurt you more than is necessary. You were one of my favorite brothers, Gabriel. I don't want to kill you. I've been alone for a very, very long time. While you've been up here, playing your tricks, becoming a hedonist. No. I have no interest in being alone, but you cannot be part of my paradise, not yet, not as you are now."

Gabriel was still breathing hard through his nose. He looked Lucifer in the eyes, and Lucifer smiled.

"No, this won't be easy, but I'll tell you what I'm going to do, the reason for this." Lucifer tapped the gag with the tip of the blade. "I'm going to cut out your grace, most of it. There will be just enough to keep you alive, but you can't hide what you are, and you won't be able to do any of your tricks. You'll just live, being unable to stop anything. You can hide. I don't mind. You can do whatever you want when I let you go. After I've defeated Michael, I'll come and find you and give your grace back. Don't worry, this won't be nearly as bad as what I've suffered, you know that."

Gabriel breathed hard in and out through his nose. There was clear fear in his eyes. He struggled against his bonds as he hadn't before.

"Don't struggle, you'll only hurt yourself."

Gabriel gasped in pain whenever his wings were pulled on by the chains. Still he struggled. His struggles were futile. The chains bound him too tight.

"Do try and hold still."

Lucifer brought the blade to Gabriel's chest. He pushed the tip in carefully, making a vertical cut similar to one for an autopsy. The horizontal cuts at the top and bottom of the vertical cut followed. Gabriel's stomach and chest already convulsed with deep, rapid breathing.

"Don't be afraid, this is only to prepare you."

Lucifer tucked the blade under his arms and pulled aside the skin and muscle of Gabriel's vessel until the ribcage was exposed. He turned the blade around, slamming the hilt into Gabriel's sternum, cracking it open. Even past the gag, Gabriel's sound of pain spilled out. Lucifer set the blade down on the ground for a moment. He needed both hands to grab Gabriel's ribcage and pull it apart. Gabriel howled. Not even the gag could stop the sound.

"See, this is why you needed that. I told you, no more pain than necessary. I can't have you biting your tongue."

Lucifer bent down and picked up the blade. He quietly touched the tip to Gabriel's beating heart, murmuring words in Enochian. The heart turned a very brilliant white until a fist sized ball of grace appeared outside of the heart.

"Such a sentimental place to keep your Grace, brother."

Lucifer turned to the table, getting a jar and opening it. He used the blade to quickly cut the ball of light in half. The light grew bright and dimmed rapidly in distress. The lights in the building exploded. The sprinklers set off. The electricity in the entire surrounding area grew bright and dimmed in succession with unstable grace. Lucifer scooped half of the grace out and put it in the jar, twisting the lid shut.

"I can't have you healing yourself improperly."

Lucifer set aside the knife on the table, next to the jar. He wouldn't need it for this part. He walked back to Gabriel. Gabriel trembled from head to toe, sobbing behind the gag. He would have felt like every single part of him had been cut in two, and that half of his very essence, his being, who he was stolen. And he would be cold, very cold. He would be feeling colder soon, Lucifer knew this.

"Shh, shh."

He wiped away Gabriel's tears and let his brother cry on his shoulder. He stroked Gabriel's hair gently.

"It will be better, it will be so much better once I have won. You will understand why I have to do this soon. I so hate hurting you. I hate it so much, but you're not worthy, not yet."

He reached out, grabbing onto one of Gabriel's wings. The look in Gabriel's eyes was clearly pleading. Lucifer snapped the bone. Gabriel would have passed out if Lucifer would have allowed him.

"No, stay with me. You have to be punished, remember?"

He grabbed the wing in another place, snapping it a second time. He grabbed the second wing, snapping it in three places, pulling the bones apart now. Gabriel was past being able to make sound. His just cried, watching his brother with fear in his eyes. He shuddered at every touch now.

"You'll heal, I promise you you're heal on your own. You may want to splint these, but the will heal, and properly. I'll leave you enough grace to heal, though it will be slow. It is a punishment, after all."

Lucifer ran his fingers through the sensitive feathers before he grabbed on tight and snapped. The third wing received four breaks before he tugged on the end of the wing to pull the bones apart. Gabriel would be tasting his own blood now with how tightly he bit down on the gag, and how loud he screamed. He'd shredded his own throat.

"Just a little more and I'll be done with this part."

Lucifer moved of the other side. He stroked the wings which shook from fear and cold. The air Gabriel blew out of his nose was visible as it the room temperature was freezing. Lucifer gripped the top wing and snapped. He kept bending as Gabriel howled, pulling the bones apart. He bent and pulled for all five breaks.

"Almost done, almost done."

The fifth wing received the same bending after the breaks, all six of them. Lucifer stroked the hurt appendage afterward. Gabriel dry heaved at the touch.

"Shh… shhh, almost done, I swear. Just the last to go."

The last wing received six breaks. Lucifer bent the new breaks down and then back up at each break. The breaks were completely on even.

"There. Now, just to finish this part."

Lucifer went and picked up the blade again, ignoring the odd angle at which Gabriel's wings now hung.

"The last part, and then it will be over, the pain will be over. I'll just have to clean you up."

Gabriel shook all over when Lucifer placed the knife to what was left of his grace. The light had reformed into a smaller ball. Lucifer expertly cut a tiny little ball from the grace.

"Last part."

Lucifer dropped the blade and grabbed the small piece of grace and the large. He pulled the pieces separate and took the large part in his hand. He walked to the table and unscrewed the lid, slipping the grace in with its other half. The two parts formed back together.

"There, now we're done."

Gabriel hung limply. Lucifer picked up thick black thread and a curved needle. He threaded the needle.

"Ugly isn't it? The demons came up with it. It will keep you together but it won't heal it all the way. I have to be able to get back in to give you your grace. This will be less painful. And only I can remove it."

He began to stitch the muscle and flesh back together. Lucifer worked quickly, making sure the stitches were tight.

"Poor Gabriel, you look like you're dead."

Gabriel hadn't moved since the last break. He just hung there. He looked so pale and bloody. The only sign that he was awake was the very visible trembling.

"It's cold isn't it, being thrown from God?"

Lucifer unlocked the chains. He carefully unwound them, catching Gabriel as he slumped down. Lucifer sat, holding Gabriel in his lap. Gabriel wrapped his arms around Lucifer's waist and sobbed into Lucifer's shirt. Lucifer stroked Gabriel's head and rubbed his shoulders, avoiding the tortured wings. Gabriel trembled all over, clinging tight to Lucifer. They both knew that angels felt very warm, because God's light was warmth. Even Lucifer still felt very warm, especially now that he was out of the cage. Gabriel was freezing cold without his grace, but pressed against Lucifer's immense heat he began to sweat.

"It's okay. It's over now, it's over Gabriel. And soon it will all be over and then your grace will be returned to you. And then we'll live here, in this beautiful garden. I know you love this world like I do Gabriel. If you're very good I may even keep a few humans around for you. Or how about that little pagan woman. You'd like that wouldn't you?"

Gabriel's shoulders continued to shake as he cried. He gripped tighter to Lucifer whenever he shifted, keeping him in place.

"I won't leave you, not yet. But you have to deal with this on your own, because I had to as well. You will heal, you will be okay. And once this is over you'll be able to stay in my paradise. It'll be perfect, I promise you it will be perfect."

"Go away."

Gabriel's voice was hoarse, a whisper, almost just air. He gripped tighter to Lucifer. Lucifer chuckled and stroked Gabriel's hair.

"It'll be okay Gabriel. It will be, I swear."

Gabriel's tears started to settle, but his grip didn't lessen. Lucifer hummed hymns. Gabriel closed his eyes, but he couldn't sleep. He just stayed still.

"Tell you what, Gabriel. I cannot accompany you, but I can send you someplace, any place you want. Just name it."

"Where you got me."

Gabriel whispered but he didn't hesitate.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

Lucifer bent down, kissing his brother's ear. Gabriel closed his eyes.

"Okay. I'll see you again soon Gabriel."

When Gabriel opened his eyes again he was alone in the hotel.

* * *

Gabriel slept in the wreckage because he couldn't move. He'd tried when Lucifer first sent him back, but the pain was too much. He slept instead. Or more honestly he passed out when he tried to move and woke up about fourteen hours later.

The pain he woke in was excruciating, but he was very aware of the terrible angle his wings would heal at if he didn't move soon. Dragging himself across the floor until he found a telephone was nearly impossible. Gabriel wasn't really sure how he did it, but he found the phone.

One of the good things about being an Angel was that you tended to be able to remember anything you wanted to remember(and conversely, the worst thing was that you remembered a lot of things you wished to forget). This included the cell phone numbers of certain hunters who certainly owed Gabriel a favor after this.

"Hello," Sam answered.

"Hey Kiddo," Gabriel said. He knew exactly how he sounded. It was why Sam hesitated so much, he was sure.

"Gabriel?"

"Yep, in the flesh, still, shockingly."

"Are you okay?"

Gabriel hesitated. "No. I'm not. I need your help." He started cough. He cursed his luck. His throat was so raw. He was lucky that he'd even been able to get out words at all.

"Gabriel? Gabriel? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Where you left me."

"Okay, we'll be there soon."

Gabriel hung up before Sam could say anything more. He thought weakly that they were good boys. He felt maybe a little bad for killing Dean so often. Then he slipped back to sleep.

* * *

"Sam?" Dean asked, looking over at his brother. It had only been a few days since the incident at the hotel. They hadn't even found any of the other horsemen yet.

"Dean, you need to turn around right now. We have to go back to the hotel."

"That was Gabriel, he's still alive?" Dean couldn't believe he was alive at all.

"Dean, we owe him. He's given us away to end this."

"Not that we've ended it yet, Sammy."

"Dean, you didn't hear him. We have to go back."

"Fine," Dean said. They weren't that far away, and it's not like they had a lead on Death or Pestilence yet anyway. He turned the car around on the deserted road and started heading back the way he'd just come.

* * *

Gabriel didn't see anyone for two days. He didn't know exactly how long Lucifer had him. He wasn't even exactly sure of how long it would take the Winchesters to find him. He only knew the days because of the different light he'd see through the cracks in the door to the conference room. Mostly he slept. He couldn't even really move, and his body wasn't healing at all that he could tell.

He was about to go back to sleep when he heard noises. His heart slammed into his ribcage on the thought that it might be a demon or another pagan. He couldn't hide what he was and while Lucifer may kill them for it later, they could do whatever they wanted to Gabriel and he wouldn't be able to stop them.

"Gabriel?" He heard. His mind wasn't quiet working.

"Gabriel?" well, that one was Dean, so the other was Sam.

But it wasn't like he could really move. He made a sound. It didn't sound human or angel, but it was the sound he could make. And Father, did it hurt to do that.

"Gabriel?" he heard again. He couldn't make it again.

"Dammit, where is he?" he heard Dean. "Are we going to have to search every room?"

"Maybe Dean, but let's try the larger rooms."

"As long as he's not in the freezer." Gabriel smiled at that. Stupid kids with their stupid sense of humor.

"Gabriel?" the voices got closer and so did the footsteps.

"Gabriel!" That was definitely close by, especially since Gabriel heard the door opened.

Large lands lay on his shoulders, turning his head a bit. Gabriel began opening his eyes when suddenly that large hands brushed against one of his wings. Gabriel let out a breathless scream and jerked away. His wings didn't hurt near as much as getting his grace removed, but they were so sensitive. There was a reason angels hid them.

"Gabriel?" Sam asked.

"Don't touch the wings," Gabriel whispered.

"What happened?"

Gabriel looked at Sam. Was he really that stupid. "Lucifer." Gabriel put as much emphasis in his voice he could, which wasn't much.

"Man, are you okay?" Dean asked.

"Idjit," Gabriel muttered, shutting his eyes. Really? He'd called these yahoos.

"Okay," Sam said. His large hand came to rest on Gabriel's head. Gabriel had to wince, thinking of Lucifer's touch. It had felt so soothing compared to his pain, of course he'd clung to it. Now Gabriel still felt shame for it. He knew he couldn't have done anything else but what he'd done. That didn't make it any easier.

"Man are you shivering?" Dean asked. Gabriel was, had been since his grace had been removed.

"Cold," Gabriel said.

"Okay, okay. Look, we're going to get you into the car and take you to Bobby's. We're not that far away," Sam said. It wasn't like they could take him to the hospital with his wings out anyway.

"Just hurry up."

Sam had to gather Gabriel into his arms. The wings made it particularly hard because that was because they connected where Sam would normally get a hold. Whenever Sam so much as brushed against them Gabriel would let out some kind of sound of terrible pain. They also made him impossible to carry him bridal style, which would have been best for Gabriel's injuries. The Winchesters made a particularly pained sound themselves when they saw the black thread and the wound it kept closed.

Finally the two brother were able to load Gabriel on Sam's back. Sam cupped Gabriel's knees and Gabriel just tried to keep his elbows bent so he wouldn't fall of. If he fell on his wings… well, he didn't even want to think about it.

He didn't fall of, thankfully, but once they got him outside the car presented a new problem. It was his wings again. He had to lie on his stomach, which hurt far less than his back and he was really too weak to sit up yet. It turned out that the really couldn't lie him on his front, though. They finally just settled with laying him on his side facing the back of the seat. Gabriel's less injured wings were easier to control and faced toward the floor.

"Buckle me in, Sammy," Gabriel said. Sam basically got him tied into the seat around the middle. It was very uncomfortable. Gabriel could deal with very uncomfortable. He couldn't deal with the pain of slipping off and landing on his wings.

Gabriel lay there for a while. He was still exhausted so he didn't even think about why the car wasn't moving and why he didn't hear the Winchesters

"Here, man," Dean said. He'd opened the other side of the door near Gabriel's head. Dean cradled his head, tipping it up so that he could pour water into Gabriel's mouth without choking or drowning him. Gabriel had known just how amazing water really was. He'd seen it be invented. He'd thought he'd known how amazing it was. He didn't until Dean forced a couple of sips of Dasani down his throat.

"Easy, easy," Dean said. He was patient, pouring water into Gabriel's mouth a few sips at a time. He'd control the flow so Gabriel could swallow it down without choking, or vomiting it back up from drinking too much. When Gabriel's abused throat did start chocking it back up Dean had stroked Gabriel's throat to help he water go down.

It hurt, it really hurt, but Gabriel couldn't remember anything tasting so sweet or feeling so good. And he couldn't remember anyone ever having been so kind to him. He was actually glad that once Dean finished helping him drink that Dean simply shut the door and got into the driver's seat. Gabriel didn't have to react and he was happy for that.

He noticed that the brothers were silent and he noticed that the only sound in the car was the sound of the engine and the road beneath the wheels. He didn't know if the silence was for his benefit. It wouldn't have mattered. He would have passed back out anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

The brothers drove in silence for a few miles. Gabriel's steady breathing the only companion the pair had in their thoughts. Dean had insisted they go raid the hotel for supplies before they left. They hadn't found anything they felt comfortable feeding Gabriel, and they weren't even sure if he should eat yet. Sam had located a few bottles of bottled water, though, which they snatched up. Watching Dean get Gabriel to drink gave Sam some rather uncomfortable memories from when he was sick in his own childhood.

"What are we going to do, Dean?"

"We're going to take him to Bobby's." Dean glanced back in his review mirror to where the angel was still sound asleep. "Do you think he looked like that when he called you?"

"Oh god, what would he have looked like if he hadn't?" Sam asked.

"We've seen Cas cut up before, but he heals, fast. This is just. I mean, I he were human I wouldn't think he'd be alive, but he should have healed already."

"So, I repeat, what are we going to do?"

"Well, first thing we're gonna do is clean him up. It's been at least two days, maybe more and we can't work on treating anything if he's this disgusting." Sam was suddenly aware that Dean hadn't even grumbled about getting the back seat dirty. Dean would later, when he cleaned the inside himself, but now he was focused.

"So what are we just going to pop him in the bath?"

"Yes, actually."

"I don't know. That's going to be awkward."

"Then it'll be awkward. You said it first, we owe him." Dean looked at Sam and Sam felt a bit uncomfortable. So what it would be awkward? Gabriel couldn't move. He was covered in dried blood and dirt and his wings, wings they'd never even see before, looked completely mangled. That was what the angel had gone through to allow them to escape and Sam was worried about awkward.

"Look," Dean said. "Just call Bobby and tell him we're on our way, and tell him we're going to need supplies.

"Okay," Sam answered before digging his phone out of his pocket. They wouldn't make it to Bobby's for a few more hours, but they needed to have everything when they got there. Just how long had Gabriel lain in that building with his wounds completely untended?

"Hey, Bobby, listen-"

* * *

They arrived at Bobby's in the middle of the night. They had to wake Gabriel to get him out of the car. Sam tried to let him sleep, but Gabriel's wings had been jostled in the process and he'd gasped awake. "Easy," Sam murmured. "We're just taking you inside."

Dean ended up having to sort of push Gabriel from the other side while Sam guided him out the other. Gabriel ended up having to be held like a child, laying against Sam's chest with his arms around Sam's neck. Sam wrapped his arms under Gabriel's butt. Dean went ahead and opened the door. Bobby was sitting in his chair on the inside where Sam could see him.

"Almost there," Sam whispered. He realized after he got up the stairs just how much of a problem the wings were going to be to get in. Sam turned sideways and tried to crab walk inside. It should have worked, but with the really awkward angle Gabriel's wings were bent into it just didn't. Sam caught the middle of Gabriel's wings on his left side, the most injured side on the door frame. Sam didn't even notice and kept crab walking in, forcing the wing out into what would have been an uncomfortable and unnatural position even if it hadn't been broken.

Gabriel, who'd hung limp against Sam before, suddenly came alive. He tensed up completely, sitting up in Sam's arms. Gabriel's teeth found Sam's shoulder and bit down, and inhuman scream coming out, muffled by Sam's shirt and flesh. Sam gasped, tightening his grip so he wouldn't drop the angel, but he also felt pain in his shoulder and wetness that had nothing to do with angel saliva.

"Sam, move!" Dean snapped, pushing Sam back out of the door way. Gabriel slumped against Sam's shoulder again, and Sam could feel sobs wrack the angel's body and tears on his neck. Sam's stomach twisted into a million knots. Gabriel, the archangel, shouldn't be that weak or that broken.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Of course he isn't," Dean said. "Bobby, hold the door. Sam, you caught his screwed up wing on the doorframe."

"I'm, I'm sorry," Sam said, still stunned at Gabriel's reaction.

"It doesn't matter; we got to get him inside. Do what you did last time. I'll worry about the wings."

Sam, feeling shaken, started to crab walk back through the door again. This time he tried to look both forward and backward. He saw Dean guiding the middle wing in. Sam wouldn't have needed to see it, though. He could feel Gabriel's grip tighten around his neck and the sobs increase when Dean moved the injured appendage.

"Bobby, is the bath ready?" Sam asked. He felt awkward just standing there holding the angel.

"Up stairs," Bobby said.

It was pretty clear that they needed someone on either side of Sam to worry about Gabriel's wings. Sam tried not to think about Bobby's visible frustration at really not being able to help. They had to go slow, but he'd actually be in the way. He'd been able to get the large bathroom ready at least. It still wasn't that big but it would be more easily able to accommodate Gabriel's wing span. Dean took up the rear, following Sam upstairs and guiding the most badly bent wings and moving them as gently as he could to keep from running them into anything. Sam could feel Gabriel tense and cry every time Dean so much as touched his wings.

"Okay, we're here," Sam said, crab walking into the bathroom. He sat Gabriel down on the counter, but still held him to keep him upright.

"Sam, hold onto him," Dean said, following him in. He didn't bother to close the door. They'd need it open in case something happened. Dean took out a knife, starting to cut Gabriel's shirt off. There was no way they could get it off otherwise.

"Cold," Gabriel whispered, shivering from head to toe. Sam could see the tear tracks on Gabriel's face, but didn't comment on it. They'd stabbed Gabriel in the chest with a wooden stick more than once, and while it hadn't killed him, it could never have been comfortable, but Gabriel has always brushed it off. Sam was trying to imagine what kind of pain could make such a proud angel sob like that.

"Well, the water's warm," Dean said. He finished cutting the last of the shirt off Gabriel's shoulders. It fell away easy enough and Sam could tug it off Gabriel's arms while Gabriel leaned against his chest

Dean had knelt down and pulled off Gabriel's shoes and socks, tossing them aside and out of the way. When the shoes were gone he stood up started pulling off Gabriel's pants. Sam lifted Gabriel up so Dean could have an easier time of it.

"Slow down cowboys, gotta get me drunk first," Gabriel muttered. If he'd been low energy before, now he was practically dead. Still, Sam took the exhausted, slurred words as a good sign.

"Shut up," Dean said. "Of course you'd go commando."

"Like what you see?" Gabriel asked, pulling on a smirk.

"You're washing your own junk," Dean said. "Sam, get him up."

Sam helped Gabriel up, but turning him around became a problem. They had no way of turning his around in the tub and if he tried to sit sideways he'd crush one of his wings against the bathroom wall. Sam had to spin around very careful while holding the angel. Dean and Sam tried their best to keep from hitting Gabriel against anything, but that was practically impossible. Gabriel ended up biting into Sam's already injured shoulder and screaming again when they had to move his wing when it got caught on the closet. Sam was ready for it though and Dean was careful to make sure the turn didn't cause any more damage.

Sam was glad when he could finally lower Gabriel into the water. The angel was shivering all over and the very warm water seemed to soothe that a little at least. There was no ignoring or denying Gabriel's tears now. He was tried and failing to breathe through his nose.

"Sam, keep him up," Dean ordered.

Gabriel was facing them while he sat in the tub, but he could barely keep himself up. Sam braced Gabriel's shoulders, holding him upright. Dean knelt beside them, a wad of tissue in his hand. He pressed the wad to Gabriel's nose.

"Blow."

Gabriel did as he was told and didn't even try to argue. He also didn't ague when Dean kept coming back with more tissue until Gabriel could breathe through his nose again, or when Dean actually wiped his nose for him.

"Okay, let's get to work," Dean said, rolling up his sleeves. He grabbed the bottle of soap and a wash cloth.

Dean started with Gabriel's chest first, wiping away the grime and blood. As nasty the wound looked, once the dried blood was washed away, it was revealed that the area around the stitching was completely white without any touch of infection. Sam counted them lucky on that one. The other wounds that weren't stitched didn't look so good, though.

Dean then moved to Gabriel's arms and then legs. The worst injury there was on Gabriel's thigh. They'd have to stitch that one up themselves. Most of Gabriel's injuries seemed to be in the front, but the most painful were going to be setting the wings.

Dean didn't touch the wings though, not before everything else. He even washed Gabriel's face and hair. Sam felt a little like he was watching Dean as a dad, as he used a large plastic cup to rinse Gabriel's hair and cradled the Angel's head as he did so to guide the flow of water so it wouldn't hurt his wings. Gabriel even whimpered when a few drops of water touched his wings.

"It's okay, almost done," Dean said. He had to drain the water for the third time and refill the tub. The water kept changing color from the blood and dirt. "Sam, hold him steady." Sam tightened his grip of Gabriel's shoulders.

They were now on the worst part, Gabriel's wings.

"Don't use soap," Gabriel said.

"Got it," Dean said. He used the cup again, very carefully dripping water onto the wings, cleaning them off. Gabriel whimpered and shivered, but he didn't start to cry or scream.

"Okay, I'm check of breaks," Dean said.

"Two," Gabriel said. "On the top right, with a new added going down to seven on the bottom left."

"Got it," Dean said. That didn't stop him from checking, but he was very gentle. Gabriel did cry again, but he didn't scream. He was able to bite his lip until it bled, but he didn't scream. Dean finished up by washing Gabriel's face again and making him blow his nose.

"Dean," Sam said, the first thing he'd said since Dean started to wash the angel.

"Just hold him still for another minute, Sam," Dean said. He got up and left, coming back with boxers and towels.

Sam helped Gabriel out of the water. He held him up, standing straight while Dean carefully dried Gabriel's body and got him dressed to give him some dignity. Again, the hardest part was the wings, but Dean just pat those dry and let it be.

"Let's go Sam. Bobby got the guest room ready," he said.

Sam crab walked out, and Dean led, the most injured wings in the front now. The guest room wasn't that far away. Bobby had moved the bed out to accommodate Gabriel's wings. Sam sat Gabriel down, holding up while Dean got the supplies.

"Want me to?" Sam asked.

"I got it, you just hold him still."

Dean started with the tight wound. He had to pour alcohol into it. Gabriel took a deep breath through his nose, but he didn't scream. This was the most infected wound too, and the deepest. Dean stitched the wound up quickly. Gabriel didn't even make a sound.

Dean move up to the chest wounds. Dean stitched up what needed to be stitched, but anything he could just use a bit of alcohol on and some Neosporin and a band-aid, Dean did. Sam lay Gabriel out on his stomach, giving Gabriel a pillow to hold onto.

"This is gonna hurt," Dean said. "Sam, hold him still."

"Got him," Sam said, holding down Gabriel's shoulders.

Dean set the first wing and bound it out as best he could. Gabriel needed to be held down and made muffled sounds of pain into the pillow. The brother exchanged looks. The first wing was the least hurt. The setting of the second wing was worse. The bones had been pulled apart and Dean had to guide them back together in order to set them. Gabriel screamed into the pillow and Sam had to shove down hard to keep Gabriel down.

The third wing was even worse. Dean ended up having to straddle Gabriel's lower back to keep him down and Sam had to lay one arm down between Gabriel's wings and with the other hand shove Gabriel down into the mattress with all his might. Gabriel's screams weren't even really muffled by the pillow. This held him at least for the forth wing.

The fifth and sixth were the worst. Dean didn't even what to know what Lucifer did, because guiding these bones back together was nearly impossible. In fact Gabriel passed out half way through the sixth one Gabriel just passed out and stayed out. Sam couldn't help but thank God for that.

"I'm not even sure that sixth one can heal back," Dean said when he finished he last bit of binding. He climbed off Gabriel and sighed, looking down at the shivering figure.

"Dean, aren't Angels warm?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Gabriel's freezing cold."

Dean frowned. "Yeah, now that you mention it. We got any extra blankets?"

The two hunted for extra blankets. It was easy to pile blankets over Gabriel's legs and lower to mid-back. After that they had to get creative. They found scarves to layer over Gabriel's shoulder and neck, and smaller blankets and dry towels to layer under Gabriel's wings and over his sides and arms. Gabriel didn't stir, and he still shivered like crazy. Sam went to find the heat to turn it up and Dean went to find whatever coats he could. They piled it all on Gabriel who was still shaking.

"What's the prognosis?" Bobby asked when Sam came back down stairs.

"Bad, Bobby," Sam said. "We can't get him warm."

"I don't mean to change the subject, but you realize your still bleeding."

Sam looked down to the very red, rather large spot on his shoudler. He suddenly realized just how much pain her was in.

"No, I forgot. I'll take care of it, Bobby," Sam said, grabbing a rain coat from next to the door and heading up stairs with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Hey, I imagine Bobby had some kind of wheel-chair elevator thing added to his stairs so he could get up and down after his injury, because I can't figure out how he navigated his house otherwise.**
> 
> **Got an event tonight, but I wanted to get this done. Say thank you! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

"It's good to see you took my words to heart, Gabriel, about punishment, about being alone."

"Yeah well, there's no good way to fix broken wings when you can't move."

"Oh, come on, it isn't that bad."

"I don't count having to be bathed by the Winchesters ad a particularly good time."

"Hm… sounds funny, did someone get video."

"No, but I could make you a video of how you should go screw yourself."

Lucifer smiled, slipping his arm around his brother's shoulders. "Glad you still have your humor."

"Easier too when everything doesn't hurt."

"You did fine before."

"Before or after you cut me up like a roast?"

"Well before, but there's nothing to be ashamed about. I've had that pain Gabriel. You don't know what it was like Gabriel. Nothing, nothing hurts as much as being cast away from father. You think my vengeance isn't justified? Think of what you experienced and multiply it by a million and then continue it for eternity and then maybe you'll understand why. I'm not even being unreasonable. If it were you, you'd probably want to turn everything into something it's not supposed to be-"

"Luci, not that I don't love your monologues, but shut up."

Lucifer smiled again and rested his head on Gabriel's shoulder. Gabriel crossed his arms over his chest. He could feel something like a floor and wall, because his back was supported by something solid and there was a something he was sitting on enough to extend his legs, which he'd crossed at the ankle. Lucifer had one knee pulled up to chest.

"I was so scared, little brother. I thought I'd have to kill you, you know."

"Yeah, and I was afraid of that too."

"No, I mean it. I don't even want to kill Michael."

"Bullshit, Luci."

"Okay, so maybe I want to a little. But I'd rather not have to kill my brother."

"Only if Michael would apologize and you could punish him too."

"No one can understand pain until they've experienced it. Gabriel, don't' tell me that you're angry with me."

"You've made me an invalid."

"You'll heal."

"I'm useless, Lucifer."

"And now you know how I felt. I was locked away, what could I do? I just had to wait and watch, which is what you will do now."

"I'm never going to be on your side, Luci."

"I know, you've told me. You like the mud monkeys, not that I understand why."

"Lucifer-"

"Which is why I will keep some around, a few, for you. Mostly it'll be the earth and it's wonders, but I'll keep a small amount around. Enough for genetic diversity, but never too many. And they'll know who their masters are and where they stand. And that pagan woman, I'll keep her around for you, because I saw what you were willing to do to protect her."

"It wasn't just her."

"Yes I know, but it's why the humans. Maybe I'll keep a few angels around too. Do you know any good ones to recruit."

"No one's going to your side, Lucifer. We all know how that ends."

"Well, of course, I mean after I've won. What about our baby brother who keeps tagging along with the Winchester, Castiel."

"He's never going to listen to you."

"I don't know about that, Gabriel. He's just like you, you know. He's defied heaven, he's been cast out."

"He doesn't follow you."

"It won't matter after I win. He'll have to be punished too… not as severely as you had to be, because you really could have done something and he really couldn't have. But I'll accept him."

Gabriel sighed and slipped his arm around Lucifer.

"Big brother, I love, but you are an idiot."

"I beat you."

"Eh, you're just older, you're not smarter."

"You're fairly stupid too. Did you really think I wouldn't know your tricks?"

"Eh, had to try."

"See, stupid."

Gabriel had to smile a little at Lucifer's sulky tone. If only it could be this easy outside of a dream.

"You really think that getting what you want will make you happy."

"That's generally how it works."

"Now you know that isn't true. You know the song. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. So you blow up the world to your satisfaction and Michael's dead and so are most of the angels, but you around up a few, and me and baby brother Castiel, who you'll put on a pedestal, because we rebelled and ran away and you like the screwy ones. And you give us some toys to play with. You're trying to make your own family. One you control because that way they can't pull a Michael on you."

"No one will ever be able to do that again. I'm always aware."

"Yeah, constant vigilance and all that jazz. This isn't going to work out for you, Luci."

"Well, for your sake you should hope it does."

"What does that mean."

"You can get to your grace without me."

"All I need is the jar, and hell, I can find that. Not what I meant. You might have zoned out when I stitched you up. I put your remaining grace back where you kept it, and then I stitched that up too. No one can cut those strings but me. If I'm gone you'll exist forever without your grace. Even if you find it you won't be able to get it back in."

"Why would you-"

"Insurance little brother, just some insurance. Now, I was feeling generous. I fed you a tiny bit of Grace just now to speed up the healing process. You should be able to ingest food now."

"Oh how gracious of you."

"And now I send you on your way. I, after all, have an apocalypse to run."

* * *

"Gabriel?"

"What?" Gabriel's voice was groggy

"Sorry to wake you, but Dean and I decided you need to try eat," Sam said.

"Nice to see the two of you finally found two brain cells to run together," Gabriel muttered, pushing himself up.

He'd woken up a few times during his current five day stay at Che-Singer. So far he'd slept under a mountain of blankets (and scarves and hats and towels and coats and ponchos and socks and eventually newspapers, just anything to make him stop shivering, though he never stopped) and been unable to keep down even a little bit of food, or literally anything but water. He was still so weak that he couldn't hold himself up to do anything. At least his throat had healed enough for him to speak again.

"Easy," Sam said, sitting down next to Gabriel.

He slipped his arm around Gabriel's middle and Gabriel leaned on Sam. There was no other way to do this. Sam moved the little breakfast in bed tray over to stand over Gabriel's lap. Gabriel had to admit he was impressed at Sam's ability to not spill food while arranging the legs all with one arm. Gabriel didn't even think to help until it was over. He'd probably have made a mess of it.

"A bendy straw, really?" he asked.

Sam picked up the cup, holding it up for Gabriel to sip. It was just water, but Gabriel was happy for it. If Lucifer's little dream communication was correct, then Gabriel should be able to keep this stuff down anyway.

"Open up," Sam said, offering Gabriel a spoon full of oat-mush.

Gabriel did in fact open up, but the second he closed his mouth over the spoon he wished he hadn't. Sam must have realized this because he offered Gabriel water, which Gabriel sipped quickly to try and get the taste down.

"Are you trying to make me be sick?"

"You kept it down." Same sounded amazed.

"What the hell was that?"

"Um… apple cinnamon instant with a lot of peanut butter. It can't be that bad."

"It is that bad, what the hell were you yahoos thinking making that unholy concoction?"

"That you needed protein," Sam said. "Come on, it isn't so bad. I've had it before."

"When?"

"When I was a kid and Dean was trying to get me better."

"And what happened then?"

"I threw up- but that isn't the point. I had a stomach virus."

"Are you sure it wasn't just spontaneous expulsion?"

"No, Gabriel, come on, just try and get a few bites down. It'll help you get better."

"There's no better, Sasquatch, not without my grace."

"Well, there should be better than this. Castiel was okay without his grace."

"It's not the same thing."

"Why not?"

"Give me the mush," Gabriel said.

Sam looked torn. Finally he offered another spoonful. Gabriel accepted it. He gagged and needed water just about instantly, but he got it down. In fact he got five more spoonfuls after that down before he felt like he just couldn't take anymore.

"I'm done," Gabriel said when he finished the last of the water. "No more of this."

"Okay."

Sam moved the tray by himself and helped Gabriel lay back on his stomach. Gabriel's other wounds were starting to heal, but his wings had barely healed at all. Sam tucked the warm things about around Gabriel. They didn't have a way to put a shirt on him and he shivered non-stop no matter what they did. Gabriel only felt comfortable when he was asleep. Gabriel knew Sam would be back in under a minute, but they both knew Gabriel couldn't be without as much warmth as they could provide, even for that short time. He didn't even have a fever, he was just cold all over.

Sam did return in a moment. He helped Gabriel get out from under the covers and helped him up. Gabriel had been stuck in different pairs of Dean's underwear (which was something he did not appreciate) until they could go buy him extra pairs, which Gabriel had thought took way too long. Still he was still in just underwear. Everyone was too tall for him and considering that he still needed someone to hold him out so he could go to the toilet (something he was horrified to learn he had to do now) it was really just too complicated to worried about pants. Shirts weren't even an option because of his wings.

Having to piss was a hellish experience. Getting to the bathroom down the hall was a hellish experience, and it was one in a long line of things he had to do before he could get back into bed. Crab walking down the hall while being supported by Sam Winchester more than himself was no fun. Gabriel wasn't having that carried thing anymore if he could help it. Sure he was basically being held up by Sam and practically standing on the younger Winchester's feet in order to be moved at all, and yeah it was basically carrying and completely exhausting, but at least Gabriel wasn't being carried around like a baby anymore.

The bathroom was a place from Hell, Gabriel was sure. No amount of bathmats could convince Gabriel otherwise. He started shivering at least double, if not triple fold once he stepped inside. Without his grace the porcelain room felt like he'd been asked to walk in the Arctic in his underwear.

Then came the deed itself, the less to be said about that the better. Either way he had to have someone where, which wasn't comfortable for either occupant. And Sam insisted on everyone washing their hands. Gabriel couldn't decide if washing with cold was worse, or waiting longer in the hell room for the water to warm up was worse.

What Gabriel knew most of all was that before the experience was over he'd practically wish to stay in the bathroom just to not have to move anymore. Sam would dutifully remind him that it would easier for everyone if Gabriel just let himself be carried. Gabriel wouldn't do that. So he'd just was to trudge back to bed and let Sam wrap him up like a kitten in stupid sweaters. Under all those layers and Gabriel still couldn't get warm, but at least the cold wasn't so bad that he wanted to burst into tears.

Settled back under his layers Gabriel wondered if this was how Lucifer felt when he'd been cast out of heaven. Was the cage this cold? Or was it like the bathroom, where there weren't even layers to hide under. Gabriel was sure that he was warming up (or he was hoping that he would eventually) but had Lucifer warmed up? Or did it take until he was free and in a vessel before he could feel warm again?

Lucifer wanted him to think like that. Gabriel hated it. Thinking about being so cold made Gabriel think about what Lucifer was offering. Would it really be so bad? If Gabriel could get Sam to say yes, then they could probably save Dean and Bobby, and probably a few hunter friends that both had. Hell, they might even be able to get Sam and Dean's parents, that girl Sam had, all those people they cared about back, and a few others, just some people. And Castiel, and a couple of others. And Gabriel would have Kali and they could be happy. He thought they could be content anyway.

And he knew just how dangerous those thoughts were. The more he thought about them, the more he wanted them and the less he wanted to keep helping. He wasn't even sure he could help, especially if his grace was something only Lucifer could give him back. Gabriel wasn't even sure he could use his grace if it wasn't all together. He'd never even heard of someone carving up grace like Lucifer had done to him. He wouldn't put it past Lucifer to have just tried it for the first time.

If he hadn't then Gabriel pitied the ones who'd gone before.

* * *

"Gabe?"

"Dean."

"We got a lead on Pestilence."

"Oh good, we can pop right out and nab him."

"There's been a virus outbreak. Me and Sam are going to check them out."

"Good plan. Not be de a dick, but where does that leave me?"

"Well, you're keeping food down now."

"If you can call it food."

"And Sam said that you're not leaning on him so much for support, so we got a friend of Bobby's to come check on you."

"Friend how?"

"Sheriff!"

"Is this the boy you wanted me to meet, Dean?"

"Sheriff Mills, Gabriel the Archangel. Gabriel, Sheriff Jody Mills."

There was a moment of silence.

"Seriously Winchester? You know the amount of time I avoided the law only for you to bring ti up here to babysit me?"

"Dean, are you really asking me to babysit an archangel?"

"Well, we have to go hunt one of the four horsemen to try and stop the apocalypse. Sheriff, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important."

"An angel, Dean, an Archangel."

"He's harmless."

Gabriel offered an impressive death glare.

"We owe him, Jody."

"And you're running off and leaving me."

"Yeah, well, some yahoo in a porn video gave us a job to do."

Gabriel snorted. Jody looked confused and more than a little troubled.

"So, hopefully we'll be back in a few days. You two play nice."

Dean left. Gabriel propped himself up on one of his many pillows and indicated the chair before shrinking even further under his covers. Jody walked to the padded chair and sat down, crossing a leg at the knee and her arms over her chest. She looked very closely at Gabriel's large golden wings.

"So, an archangel?"

"Yep."

"Never seen anyone with wings before."

"They're normally very well hidden."

"Oh… what happened?"

"My big brother and I got in a fight, he won and he takes winning very seriously."

"Lucifer?"

"Yup."

"I heard from the boys that… well, the apocalypse was started, but you know… even with… what happened here, it's hard to accept."

"What happened here?"

"People uh… coming back from the dead."

"Cool, anyone you know?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Too close to home?"

"It was my son."

"Ah, well, very close to home then."

Gabriel shifted his wings a ducked his head, biting his arm to try and keep silent from the pain.

"You know, a lot of people, just about everyone in the town had or knew someone who came back. And we have a very good veterinarian."

"Do I look like I have cats I need to be tending to?"

" Well, you look like a man who can't go to a hospital because you have an extra appendage problem, and you also look like you could use a professional who knows how to deal with those kinds of things."

"No such things as an Angel Doctor."

"What you don't have wing problems in heaven?"

"We normally heal ourselves."

"Dean said you'd been holed up here for a few days, why aren't you healed."

"Let's just assume that for any question about my health you may have, Lucifer is the answer."

Jody uncrossed her arms, he eyes fixed on Gabriel's wings.

"Do they hurt?"

"Only when I move them or they touch anything or anything touches them."

"Sounds sensitive, what happened, and don't say Lucifer."

"Well, he did."

"You know what I mean."

"Broken."

"Badly?"

"I don't care what my brother says, I don't think they're going to heal back."

"Then I'll call Dr. Smith."

"What happened to not being able to get a doctor?"

"He's a Veterinarian."

"And I look like a dog to you?"

"He's dealt with hundreds of birds in his practice and he's probably as close as it's going to get to someone who can actually help you. Wouldn't you like to get a second opinion about whether they'll heal or not?"

Gabriel studied Jody. She wasn't exactly his type. He went after young and insanely attractive. Jody was older, not unattractive, and she reminded him a bit of Kali. There wasn't a real wish to kill, but there was that very serious stubborn 'I'm right, you're wrong, the sooner you figure that out the better' attitude. She'd probably call the vet anyway.

"Okay, fine, but I better get a lollipop for this."

Jody laughed.

"You think I'm kidding."

"Lollipops are what kids get at the Pediatricians."

"They're also what archangels get when they happen to have a sugar addiction."

Jody smiled and stood up. "Okay, tell you what. I'll call Dr. Smith and go pick him up, and I'll pick up from lollipops up on my way home. Sound like a deal?"

"Sounds like a deal I can get behind."

Gabriel buried himself deeper into his covers. A couple of the layers had slipped and he could really feel it and he couldn't really move to fix it. It surprised him when he suddenly felt warmth instead of just biting cold in those places. He turned his head, seeing Jody rearranging his covers for him. He turned away and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep. It was such a mom-thing to do. He thought again about Dean helping him drink water when he'd first been found.

These people were why the apocalypse was important. If Gabriel did support Lucifer, he could save them, their small bit of kindness and caring that they offered freely. Or Gabriel was in so much pain because of those small acts of kindness. Yes, people were broken, but they tried to be better. That was why this was important. What would happen to the people?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N: Who says I never do anything for you? Eh mostly the speed of updates is for me because I want this to be done quickly so I can get it done, and it's like… only in the 4 episodes of the end of season 5, because if I start thinking about alive!Gabriel through the rest of it, I'm going to have so many fucking problems, because yeah.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Also, the cold!Gabriel is based on old Medieval art where Satan is depicted as being blue. The idea is that Satan is the farthest from God, who is light and warmth, and therefore Satan is always freezing. It's why Dante put Satan frozen in ice in the 34th Canto.**
> 
> **Elthadriel drew me an amazing piece from this chapter: http://elthadriel.tumblr.com/image/62102889626**
> 
> **Thank you again, so much!**


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel pressed his lips to Kali's forehead. She glared at him in accusation of sweetness. He knew what she liked and he liked it too, and she didn't like sweet or kind. If it were not for the fact that she hated Lucifer's living guts, he would be perfect for her. Still, she was pissed. She was always pissed. She was Kali, after all.

"Got a meeting," Gabriel said.

"You should kill him when you get the chance."

"The chance will never come, I assure you."

She had every right to be mad. Hell, Lucifer got her number perfectly. Kali would never be content with whatever Lucifer allowed her. She'd probably stick around Gabriel because she was sentimental at her very core, but she would hate him sometimes just as easily as she hated Lucifer.

Lucifer was getting a lot better at this dream creating thing.

"Lucy, where are you?" Gabriel called once he'd walked away from Kali and that part of the dream faded away. He rounded a corner to see Sam and Dean and Bobby all working around the Impala. It was funny because Gabriel had just been in a garden.

"Dammit Gabriel, we were promised a whole day," Dean snapped.

"Now, now, you'll get your time," Lucifer-as-Sam said. He moves away from the car and over to Gabriel.

"Walk with me," Gabriel said.

The round a bend and the hunters are gone. They are in a forest, with thick trees and animals all around going about their lives, ignoring the intruders.

"What do you think of my paradise?"

"I think you've been swimming around in my head too long, and you look creepy as hell as Sam Winchester. Change back."

"Fine."

Lucifer changed back to his other vessel, but looked really grumpy over it. He dropped to sitting and the scene has changed to a room out of Casa Erotica. Lucifer glared at Gabriel who smirked.

"Come on, if you're going to screw with my head, the least I can do is also screw with it. One of the few things I can still do."

"What do you think of my paradise, Gabriel?"

"It's… good. It's not my paradise, but I'd be very happy there."

Lucifer smiled and lay down next to Gabriel. Gabriel wrapped his arms around Lucifer, pulling him into a tight hug. No matter what form they take, Lucifer is always bigger than him. Gabriel is the youngest archangel. Lucifer is the second oldest. In their true forms, Lucifer is still bigger. So Gabriel finds it funny how when he looks up at them in the mirror on the ceiling it's Lucifer who looks like the smaller one. Physically his vessel is taller, but Lucifer curled up in Gabriel's arms and buried his face in Gabriel's shoulders.

"How much hell did you go through, Lucifer?"

"You can't imagine it. I don't want you to know it. I don't even want Michael to know it. I do my job and Michael's dead quickly."

Gabriel rubs Lucifer's shoulders.

"Are you still cold?"

"No, not anymore. It was so cold, Gabriel. Cold like you can't imagine. Colder than any spot in our father's universe that has ever existed and then colder still. There was no warmth, and no sound and no feeling and nothing for an eternity until Azaezel came and found me and whispered to me through the key hole."

Lucifer had created the demons before he was cast out. He'd created an entire race on his own and a home for them. Angels had that power. Their father had allowed them that power. Lucifer had used it and been cast out.

Gabriel gripped tighter to Lucifer like that would make him warmer. Lucifer clearly sensed intent because he chuckled and nuzzled his head a bit against Gabriel's shoulder.

"You're forgiving, Gabriel."

"Nah, I'm just an idiot who worries about my brothers. Trust me, I hate your breathing guts when I'm awake."

"But you hug me here."

"You were always such a cuddlebug."

"You pity me."

"Impossible to not. If I'm feeling even half of what you felt, I feel bad for you."

"See, why I had to do it." Lucifer sounded sleepy.

"You're still such an asshole, and so full of shit."

"Generally, yes, human assholes are like that."

Gabriel laughed and Lucifer pressed a smile into Gabriel's shoulder.

"You finally picked up on my sense of humor. Fantastic."

Gabriel ruffled Lucifer's hair. It honestly hurt him to see how much Lucifer seemed to lean into it. Gabriel liked physical touch so much that he'd created women just to sleep with him. Lucifer had liked fighting and wrestling and physical things, even if he'd never specifically been a huggy-feely type before. Now, though, he seemed to crave all touch. Lucifer had been suspended in nothing for an eternity, and always alone.

"Do you hate me?"

"Nah, I mean, I'm pissed, but I couldn't hate any of you. Why do you think I ran? Taking sides… nah, that's not my deal."

"You stood up to me because you didn't take a side?"

"I took a third option. You see how well it worked out for me."

"Sometimes I can't tell if you're being serious or sarcastic."

"Eh, take it however you want. Possibly it could be both today."

Lucifer looked up at his little brother and smiled a bit before pressing closer.

"It will be perfect Gabriel."

"There's no such thing, Lucifer. You know you could end this?"

"Not this again. Tell me, why would I want to end this?"

"Because you're doing this for revenge. You didn't get to have the toys you wanted so you're taking all the toys."

Lucifer hissed and shoved Gabriel away. Gabriel reached out and dragged him back into the hug. Lucifer struggled for a moment before giving in. Gabriel knew he'd pissed his brother off, but Lucifer wanted affection and love more than he wanted to be right. Or better to say that he probably thought he was so right that it didn't matter.

"If you win, and if you do keep me around-"

"I'm not abandoning you."

"And if you do keep me around and a few humans for my amusement and Kali, and even keep the Winchester family about, none of them are going to be happy. You're going to have to choose exactly what you want. Do you want to be alone, or do you want to keep fighting, always."

"And what third option would you have me take?"

"You don't fight. You stop right now and we'll go run off. Witness protection's fantastic."

"Have you forgotten my vessel is falling apart?"

"We both know you could keep him together if you wanted. You're too busy killing the soul."

"And you kept your soul?"

"Why do you think my beautiful body's still in fact. Sure, I made and alternate reality for him, but he's still around."

"I don't want to Gabriel."

"I know you don't."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. What did the doctor say about your wings?"

"Changing the subject isn't going to get us anywhere."

"Tell me, Gabriel."

"You already know."

"But tell me anyway."

Gabriel sighed. Lucifer had fist fulls of his shirt. He rubbed Lucifer's hair, soothing him until Lucifer's grip loosened. Lucifer rested his head back on Gabriel's shoulder and sighed heavily.

"It will heal, Gabriel, it will."

"The doctor seems to think that maybe it might, but when to told him what happened he thought they shouldn't have been able to."

Lucifer smirked.

"See, I do take care of you."

"You're such an asshole."

"What did you used to say? It's a messy job, but someone has to do it."

"Eh, close enough. But seriously, it's been days and you're just asking now? Talk about self involved."

Lucifer smiled; which may or may not have been Gabriel's intent. Lucifer always had the sweetest smile of all of them. Gabriel could almost see the real smile under the vessel Lucifer wore.

"Go home, Gabriel. I will find you again."

* * *

"Ah, you're awake," Jody said, seeing Gabriel's eyes open.

"Mmm, yep. Lucifer sent me home."

"You see him in your dreams?"

"More like he drags me into his, but yeah."

"I see… does he hurt you?"

"Nah, he's feeling insecure. Word to the wise: the people most able to do damage are probably the spoiled rich kids trying to preserve their way of life."

"So, entitled bastards ruin everything."

Gabriel smiled and buried his head into his arms.

"Lady, I have just departed to you the greatest piece of wisdom in the universe."

Jody smiled, leaning back in her seat.

"So, you want a lollipop now?"

"Yes!"

Gabriel nearly jumped up until Jody shoved him back down by his head.

"Don't break yourself."

Jody pulled out the airhead pop she'd brought up. After seeing Gabriel dive through a bag of lollipops on his own the other day, she'd decided to keep them down stairs.

"You're going to get diabetes at this rate."

Gabriel popped the pop into his mouth, smiling happily.

"Angel."

"Isn't your grace nearly gone?"

Gabriel bothered to pull his pop out of his mouth.

"Okay, you shut up."

"I swear, if my son had grown up, he'd probably have been just like you."

"So does that mean you want me to call you mom?"

Gabriel said it as a joke, but Jody looked hurt and hesitant. Gabriel looked like he was about to take it back when Jody finally said something.

"Would you like to?"

Gabriel laid his head down, though he kept the pop in his mouth. The plastic stick swirled around contemplatively.

"I wouldn't know what to do with a mom if I had one."

"Angel, oh right."

"Well, I mean, I had a father."

"Had?"

"Yeah, you remember God right? The one that's vamoosed off to God literally only knows where."

Jody looked shocked and then sullen.

"Well, world's worst time for a dead beat dad."

Gabriel smiled, but it was a touch sad.

"Sure thing, moms."

He smiled when he saw Jody smile as well. She reached out and stroked Gabriel's head. Gabriel shut his eyes. Hey, she needed someone to mother and he didn't mind being that guinea pig. After all, when else would he ever get the chance?

"I swear, I don't know what those boys are up to, running all over with angels."

"We're a cool bunch."

"And they go and dump and archangel in my lap. I'd have had to kill my son if he went and became a hunter like the Winchesters."

"To be fair, they're kind of one of a kind."

"Shush."

Gabriel smiled. They were both playing a part, but it wasn't something he disliked at all. So what if he maybe secretly liked to be pampered. He could normally pamper himself just fine, but it was nice to have someone else do it. The Winchesters and Bobby Singer twisting themselves into knots to take care of him had been less than comfortable. That was something his family did, or the healers anyway, but they had been his brothers and sisters. Hell, Raphael normally treated him when something was wrong. But angels didn't get sick. They got hurt in battle or doing something stupid.

Gabriel was weak and pathetic and he could barely move around on his own at all, even though the Winchesters had been gone for days crisscrossing the nation trying to get a lead on Pestilence only to be following after his dust cloud. Gabriel had, in that time, managed to keep down an entire bowl of oatmeal and some fruit and even a bit of meat. He'd also been able to finally stand on his own to piss, though Jody still had to stand outside the door in case he fell over (which he had done). It was progress, but compared to what Gabriel had been able to do before it was just infuriating and frustrating.

Jody was a peach. Gabriel was half tempted to adopt her or marry her. Gabriel had started to be able to not sleep and was bored senseless by it. Jody brought up the radio which Gabriel made liberal use of, and the magazines which Gabriel read every page of even though they were mostly about lipstick and spectacularly bad sex tips, or about fish and guns. She brought the thick novels of classics that Gabriel had read before but he reread just to have something to do. She brought a newspaper every day. Gabriel, between the radio and the papers, was more up to date on the current state of the world than he ever had been before. He was still stuck on his stomach for most hours of the day, but at least he had something to do.

Gabriel reached out, flicking on the radio. Another new report about swine flu came on. Gabriel grumbled and buried his head in his arms.

"Damn Pestilence for being so good at his job."

"How goes it?" Jody asked, looking at the radio before Gabriel flicked it off. "How does this work exactly."

"It's simple: Pestilence does what he wants and the Winchesters suck at stopping him."

"Well, that's nice to know, should I be getting a flu shot then?"

"I wouldn't trust anything that gets out as fast as those vaccines. Hell, I don't even think Swine flu is more than a panic and that's the biggest problem."

"How come?"

"We're talking a guy who can cause cancer to the entire population of New York, and he's spreading around an annoying nothing virus. It means he's on something even bigger. I'd avoid everything to do with the virus if I could, and get every shot you can, hell, make sure you got your small pox updated, because you never know what he'll pull out of his sleeve."

"You really don't know what's going on."

"It's not like Bobby's just gonna roll up here and keep me informed."

"Could you help if you had information?"

"I'm an Archangel and I've been around since before the world existed and they haven't even thought to ask me yet. I'm just the invalid in the attic to them."

"Don't worry, I'll go straighten them out."

Gabriel looked at Jody as she stood up. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. He looked astonished, but so did she.

"Sorry, habit."

"It's fine, Moms. We've all got our roles to play."

She smiled a little and then Gabriel watched her walk out. He settled back in and was about to flick on the radio.

"Well, well, how the mighty have fallen."

Gabriel jerked suddenly to see who'd come into his room and ended up a hissing mess. His wing were still painful and fragile. Any sudden movement could hurt like hell. It took a moment for his vision to clear from the pain. When it cleared he was staring at a British man in a black suit, or more accurately: a demon. The face he saw would have made a normal person blanch. Instead Gabriel wondered when the demon had gotten into Bobby Singer's house and just how weakened he actually was.

"Imagine my shock when I arrive and discover that good old Bobby is housing an angel, and not just any angel, an archangel. And here you are, all laid up in bed."

The man took the chair Jody has just been occupying and Gabriel glared at him.

"So, come to try and make a deal?"

Gabriel knew a crossroads demon when he saw one, and this one was powerful. It took Gabriel a moment, but he figured out who he was looking at.

"Crowley, King of the Crossroads, but then you knew that, seeing as the light bulb just went off over your head."

Gabriel nearly looked up to see if maybe he had manifested a light bulb. He could have done it, before anyway. Instead he kept his eyes on Crowley and tried not to give away the tension he felt too much. He was absolutely useful. Maybe he could force the demon away, but he'd kill himself in the process and the demon probably wouldn't even be dead.

"Now, the question is, what happened to your grace. It's there. You're clearly and angel, but it's mostly not there, and it's not depleted."

"Your master, now vamoose, I got some really important Zs to catch up on."

Gabriel turned his head away. The demon would probably understand that Lucifer didn't want him touched, not that the demon could do much worse than Lucifer had down already. Gabriel also didn't read him as the type to like to get his hands dirty. Gabriel always thought those were the most effective demons, the ones to quietly wear away the human souls and not be so obvious. But Lucifer hadn't wanted the most useful tools, he'd wanted Orcs, cannon fodder. Smart demons were rare.

"Ah, Lucifer, well that explains it. Well, he's not my master anymore."

That made Gabriel look back.

"I don't think that'll make Lucy happy to hear. He seems to be more than happy to dig around in my brain."

"Oh, he knows already. Had his little minions eat my tailor and everything."

Gabriel heard the real sound ob unhappiness from that. Gabriel had to bite his cheek not to smile. Well, demons were very good at digging into sore spots.

"So, what's a demon like you want?"

"To make a deal, not with you, and to gain a bit of leverage."

"Yeah, I'd be terrible leverage."

"Clearly, especially since Lucifer already knows exactly where you are."

Gabriel watched Crowley as he stood up, taking in as much information as he could from looks alone. The demon cared very much about appearances. He was a smart demon, but he was a demon none the less. It clearly wasn't care for humanity that made Crowley rebel. He understood exactly in how much regard Lucifer held the demons in.

"So, what's your plan then, mi amigo?"

"First off, I am not your friend. Second, as I seem to have become and unofficial inductee into "Team Free Will", I will be around again. But I have a job to do, and I'm going to be doing around the direct phone line to Lucifer. So, you will stay out of my way."

"Nice to meet you too!" Gabriel called after Crowley as turned and disappeared.

Gabriel's smirk slid off his face and turned back on the radio. He switched to a classic music station. It reminded him of the Winchesters. It didn't make him feel better. He just didn't want to think. If he really was Lucifer's direct phone line, then telling him everything was probably a spectacularly dangerous thing.

"Good news," Jody said, causing Gabriel to jump a little. Gabriel had become a lot more jumpy since his grace had been taken.

"What?"

"Bobby said he'd fill you in from now on."

"Oh no, never mind. Go back and say I've changed my mind."

"You said you could help!"

"Yeah, well, turns out I can't. So march back down and say I changed my mind."

Gabriel turned his head away and closed his eyes. He know she'd come close until he felt the smack on his head. He jerked up, grabbing his head and supporting himself on his elbow. He watched her walk out. She shut the door quietly. He rather wished she'd slammed it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:**
> 
> **Happy Thanksgiving y'all**
> 
> **Also, yeah pseudo-religion. Lucifer plays a good woobie. Please, do not be fooled. He is still the devil. He is still evil and still wants to kill all humans. He just wants one family member to be with, so he's trying to woo Gabriel right now.**

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N: So, this is based on _A Brother's Mercy_ by remanth. I read the first chapter of that last night, but it didn't quiet give me what I wanted, though I like the premise. So this is the non-sabriel version of that story I suppose. **
> 
> **I wrote most of this in a notebook while in Creative writing class. My roommate (who was sitting next to me in class said she was sure I was writing fanfiction and not notes. And she was right. :D**
> 
> **Also, this somehow was less uncomfortable when I was writing it in class… does that make any sense at all? I don't write about Angels, okay! It gives me the creeps, like really. I generally think of Supernatural as sub-angel so that I can watch it. But it's a little hard to think of Lucifer as a sub-angel. It just makes it creepy for me.**
> 
> **Torture? Why yes, I apparently do write it. This should be all of it for the rest of this story. How long will this story be? No idea.**
> 
> **Anyway, so what ya think?**


End file.
